Tag Archives: publishing

Curiouser and Curiouser


Who knew how much work would go into starting a business? Probably a lot of you readers, but for someone who’s about as commercial as a CD of bassoon hits of the 1620s, I can tell you that I wasn’t prepared for any of this. Is there a pity button you can push for me now? No? Pity.

As if yesterday wasn’t enough of a rude awakening for me, today I figured that I would just check off one little item on my to-do list: pick a name for my publishing company. That would be easy. That would be fun! Has anyone had to pick a name for their company out there? Did it just roll of your tongue, and ever since, you’ve never, ever regretted your decision as you’ve become exponentially more successful year after year after year? If so, can I just come and work at your company? Because none of this is coming naturally for me. None of it.

Yesterday, I’m an accidental blogger. Today, I’ve got to be a marketing genius. I haven’t looked at my calendar, but tomorrow, I think I’m down for hostile corporate takeover. But I refuse to allow this process to run me. I choose not to be intimidated. I choose to be effective.

So with this affirmation in mind, I started putting down words that I thought might help communicate the brand that I need to build for myself. ‘Neat.’ ‘Jazzy.’ ‘Rockin’.’ Of course, I’m kidding here, but if I shared the real words I brainstormed, you might press the ‘destroy’ button. There’s got to be a destroy button on this site because lord knows, I’ve already wanted to punch it more than once. I can’t be alone.

Okay. You asked for it… the real buzz words:

smart

insight

sharp

incisive

wits

crackerjack

speed

apt

bright

knack

ardent

Forerunner

Anomaly

Aspire

Enterprise

Vault

Resolute

Refreshing

Luminous

Muse

Compel

entertaining

different

challenging

human

character-driven

sarabande

Jubilee

Snapdragon

Trump

Allegro

Inspirit

Sarabande? Sarabande??!! This is proof positive that the devil invented the internet: so we would go on Thesaurus.com and word-cloud our way to Sarabande Publishing, Inc.  Armageddon would be a relief. And what in god’s name is a sarabande, anyway? It’s sounds vaguely gypsy to me, which would would be a downright lie. I could never run my company out of a wagon. Or maybe I could put a couple of them together: The Crackerjack Sarabande Press. Then all I would have to do would be to sit back and count my money as it rolled in.

This wasn’t working, so I decided to just make up some names:

Field Day Press — people would want to read my stuff because it was so much darn fun!

Newcraft Press — my work is new, and it’s a craft.

Newheart Press — my work is new, and it has real heart.

And then things went off the rail:

Earnest Keene Press — what if I made up a person’s name that also doubled for how I feel about writing?

Earnest & Keene Press — or I made it sound like there was more than one person working at my company?!! That’s pretty clever, huh, Mr. Earnest? It sure is, Ms. Keene.

But I couldn’t do this all day, so I settled on Newcraft Press. That isn’t too stupid, is it? Please don’t press the ‘stupid’ button. I couldn’t take it.

I‘m ashamed to admit that this all took several hours, and now I have to wait a couple of weeks to find out if I can even use this DBA in Arizona. Bless my mother– she suggested that I put a boat next to the name in the logo.

Yeah, one that’s headed right for that iceberg…

 

 

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The second wind


I can see the light at the end of the tunnel: only two posts to go before I can leave my computer. Perhaps this should be the one in which I share a few more details about myself with the reader. I know that it’s absurd of me to assume that anyone cares, but there are worse things to be than absurd, right? There’s boring, which I’m about to be…

I‘m a writer and wrote screenplays for years and years. I even went to school for it. Twice. You ask yourself, “why would anyone do that unless the subject just wasn’t sinking in?” Yeah, well, you don’t know me.

Still, when people would read my screenplays, I would get responses like, “That’s good.” “That’s fun.” “That’s cute.” “That’s my ride, so I really have to go.” I had a talent for underwhelming. So at the end of my rope one day– and yes, as you already know, I’m often at the end of my rope– I decided to write a screenplay that didn’t follow the rules, that was a little experimental. I stopped writing what I thought other people wanted to read and started writing down what my characters were doing in the story. If it sounds like the same thing to you, then you’ve clearly never been subjected to one of my scripts.

Anyway, people actually liked it when I let loose a little, so one day, I decided to let loose a little more: I wrote a novel. The response was mostly positive, something along the lines of: “Oh thank god, you’re not writing screenplays, anymore.” Flattering.

And then I wrote another couple of novels, and here we are today. I did all the stuff you’re supposed to do to get published with my first one, but it was a tough sell and I’m a nobody. Still, what’s the point of writing if no one reads it? (Actually, there are a lot of points, but this is my melodrama, so don’t interrupt.) Eventually, I decided that I would just publish it myself. And just about the time that I decided to do that, my friend Anne coerced me into starting a blog and here I am. Now you’re up to date.

I promise that I’ll deliver the blow-by-blows of the publishing process as it bloodies me up, but right now, I haven’t done anything else. So for my next post, I guess I’ll just go ahead and put the first chapter of my novel, My Heart is a Drummer out there. I should probably determine the best strategy for this first, but I’m required to have five posts done before I’m allowed to get out of this chair, and I’m completely out of ammo, so I’m just going to let it ride.

I hope that’s the cyber thing to do.

 

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